Lotus Sutra
Look at this sakhi, this lotus reminds me of Gautama. He who slipped away without a goodbye? Yes. You’d think after the best friends we were, I merited at least a word. Perhaps he thought you would never let him go. I think that’s what happened. He must have thought I would stop him, that I would hold up my child and thwart his search. Naturally. Any wife would! Au contraire. If he had told me, I’d have ridden out with him, I would have sped him on to the greatest adventure of his life. We grew to youth together. I knew the dilemmas in his heart. Why would I not want them to be resolved. Even if it meant the end of your marriage? A marriage can end, caring does not. My wish for his happiness will not. That is what I want Rahula to learn when his father comes here. That we are all linked not by relationships but by empathy. When I look into the heart of this lotus, I think of its blooming. As the clouds part before the sun, so does the mind open to realisation. You are as wise as he. He has attained enlightenment. I am still a seeker. But I want Gautama to understand that I too have followed my path. And it hasn’t been easy. But now, I am at peace. And won’t you meet him when he comes next week? No, but I will send him a lotus.
Lina Krishnan is an abstract artist, poet and writer. Her poems have featured in twelve anthologies. Her thoughts on aspects of solitude and change during the pandemic featured in a poetry project of the UK Arts Council. Small Places, Open Spaces is her chapbook of nature verse and her poem Dull as Ditchwater, has just appeared in a new collection of verse on climate change.
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